WHERE MY TOYS AT? #2: SPACEBALLS

If there is one line of toys that I am disappointed never happened it's got to be SPACEBALLS: THE ACTION FIGURES!  I mean c'mon... they were in the actual movie... and nothing! We got nothing!

Then during the late 90s/early 00s craze of toy companies picking up licenses for all sorts of 80s films: Beetlejuice, Gremlins, Ghostbusters, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Bob & Doug McKenzie, etc., etc. etc.  I thought for sure one of those franchises would have to be SPACEBALLS.  And still we got bupkis. 

I mean come on... couldn't they have at least been an FAO SHWARZ exclusive? See what I did there?

Shit! I hate it when my SCHWARTZ gets twisted!

And then with the announcement of an animated SPACEBALLS series... my hopes were once again to be risen... only to be dashed when I actually saw an episode of the show. 



Dear God... it was awful.

 I guess little plastic versions of Barf, Dark Helmet, Princess Vespa, Lone Star and Yogurt were just never meant to be.

That is, of course, unless they finally get around to making SPACEBALLS 3: THE SEARCH FOR SPACEBALLS 2.   Rick Moranis would probably come out of retirement for that, right?

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WHERE MY TOYS AT? #1: AUDREY II

Well... I started a regular feature here about awful toys that got made.  Now I'm going to start another one about toys that I am still waiting for TO BE MADE!

For a long time it was pretty difficult to find toys/action figures based on anything that was not directly aimed at kids.  'R' rated horror movies? Forget it!  Fans longed for articulated plastic versions of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers, Pinhead, Leatherface, Pokerface... er, uh...

Then came the late 90s and companies like McFarlane toys, NECA, Mezco, Palisades... and suddenly movie properties that had been previously ignored started filling up the toy aisles everywhere... well mostly at places like Suncoast, Hastings, Spencer Gifts, and Game Stop stores.  But still! They were there! In our grubby toy collecting mitts!

For years we clamored for a figure of Ash (Bruce Campbell) from the Evil Dead films.  And McFarlane toys came through... not just with Ash, but also BAD ASH... and 18" talking Ash... even a Good vs Bad Ash 2-pack!   Then Mezco came through with all kinds of stuff... cutesy little Army of Darkness mezitz... Palisades even attempted a 4" collectible line. Then NECA took the license and gave us S-Mart Ash and Medeival Ash.

Clearly the toy world has run out of ideas.  Or have they? 

Ever since the horror movie toy craze began with McFarlane's MOVIE MANIACS line I have been praying to the molded plastic Gods for a figure/puppet/dioarama of some kind featuring that MEAN GREEN MOTHER FROM OUTER SPACE... Audrey II!

AUDREY II is one of the greatest cinematical special effects achievments, pre or post CGI, in this blogger's humble opinion.   Of course in the film the plant goes through several stages from tiny pod to a towering toothy terror.  

You will earn $35.98 in ebay bucks.  I bet you will... I bet you will...




HOLY SHIT! Look what I just found on eBay!!! Anybody got $2000 I can borrow?

So... where's my Audrey II toy? I want a miniature replica of that killer plant in his meanest greenest form as seen at the end of Little Shop of Horrors!  It's be great if it were some kind of puppet or animatronic thing. Just somebody get on it... STAT!
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