I just can't believe you believe those urban legends, but I have high hopes that someone will point you toward Snopes and debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly!

Welcome to PART 2 of my track-by-track review of "Weird Al" Yankovic's 13th studio album ALPOCALYPSE!

Hellz Yeah!

7. PARTY IN THE CIA (Parody of Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA")  Ah-Ha! It's the new theme song for the USA network tv series COVERT AFFAIRS.  Okay, maybe not, I was probably just looking for an excuse to post a picture of a sexy, pouty lipped CIA operative.  

CIA is like the field report of a "wild & crazy" covert agent: Burn that microfilm buddy, will you, I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you! You need a quickie confession? Well, start a waterboarding session!  SONG GRADE: B-

8. RINGTONE - Yet another track from the "Internet Leaks".  This "style parody" is a homage to one of the greatest, most innovative rock bands ever - QUEEN!  This epic tune, done in the grandiose style of "Bohemian Rhapsody" is a mini  rock opera about an embarassing ringtone.  Cuz, hey, who wants to waste $1.99?  SONG GRADE: B

9. ANOTHER TATTOO (Parody of "Nothin' On You" by B.o.B and Bruno Mars) This is the part of the review where I start to feel really, really OLD.  As I am completely UNFAMILIAR with the original song.  However I do know that Bruno Mars is the Douchebag Songsmith Supreme. Unfortunately this song is not about a diminutive actor hoping to land a role in the upcoming big screen adaptation of FANTASY ISLAND.  Fantasy Island? See, I told you that I was old.  The song is actually done from the POV of an ink covered individual who is running out of space on his body to etch anything else, and he does not regret any of the silly, misspelled tattoos (some of which he got on a bet) that he already has including: Clay Aiken, a side of bacon and a clarinet playing Boba Fett. SONG GRADE: B-

10. IF THAT ISN'T LOVE Al has a long history of demented love songs: One More Minute, Melanie, You Don't Love Me Anymore, Good Old Days, and Good Enough For Now to name a few.  If That Isn't Love is another entry into that category.  A style parody of Hanson, featuring Hanson's Taylor Hanson on piano.  The central character here has some strange ideas about the meaning of love. "Even though you made me sit through MAMA MIA, I still adore you.  I totally support every idiotic thing you do, and I almost never pretend your someone else when I'm making out with you". I don't know if I should laugh or cry because I know so many guys who would NOT get that this song is not meant to be some sort of dating advice column set to music.  SONG GRADE: B

11. WHATEVER YOU LIKE (Parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.) Yet another time where I feel like my grandpa yelling at the radio, because I'd never heard the original before the release of Al's take on the song.   Personally, I usually like it MORE when Al parodies songs that I like or even love. Not that I don't find any joy in his versions of songs I've never heard or despise.  This was the first of the "Internet Leaks" tracks to be released, according to Al it went from concept to downloadable content in the space of about 2 weeks. That is fantastic use of the avaialble technology IMHO.  "Whatever" parodies the hip hop staple of a guy promising his gal whatever she wants... in these difficult financial times.   "Yeah you like Top Ramen? Need Top Ramen? I've got a cupboard full of 'em.  I'll keep 'em coming". It's like if Mtv's CRIBS did a follow up on some of these rap guys who blow the proceeds from their first album on gold plated everything.  SONG GRADE: B

12. STOP FORWARDING THAT CRAP TO ME This is probably my favorite track on ALPOCALYPSE (note: the title of this blog entry is taken from the lyrics), not only because it is a style parody of a Jim Steinman scribed Meat Loaf tune, but because it is also so damn spot on. "You pass around a link to some dumb thing on youtube everyone else saw three years ago... please stop forwarding that crap to me."  SONG GRADE: A+ 

I'm sure to a few of you that some of my criticisms may seem harsh, especially after claiming that I love Weird Al.  I do love Al and I suppose my disapointment, in part at least, is thanks to the rose colored glasses of nostalgia.  He's been a constant influence to me, a genius who has outlasted many of the acts he's parodied so well for over nearly 3 decades.  Coolio anyone? 

It must be increasingly difficult to find worthy parody fodder.  A popular song doesn't have the life it used to.  These days "15 minutes of fame" isn't much of an exaggeration.  That's why I had such high hopes when Al started toying with digital distribution.  Wow! Instant gratification much?

I also loathe when other comedians seem to look down on what Al does as some "lower form" of comedy.  Like their tired material about growing up fill in the ethnicity was so hard is such advanced, highbrow comedy.  I'm looking at you George Lopez!  There aren't many comedy albums that have moved as many units as Al's records.  And there certainly aren't as many with as high of a replay value.  Used CD shops everywhere are using Dane Cook's 2005 Retaliation album for drink coasters, book markers, and skeet shooting targets.
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I'LL BE A TROLL OR EVIL QUEEN, I'LL BE A HUMAN JELLYBEAN, CUZ EVERYDAY IS HALLOWEEN...

I have been a "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC fan since the third grade. Shortly after he released his second album "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC in 3-D featuring what is probably the BIGGEST song parody of all time "Eat it". 

One of the BIGGEST regrets of my life happened back in 1984 when Al played our local state fair.   Damn straight I attended that show.  However earlier that day while Mr. Yankovic decided to take a friendly stroll around the fairgrounds, I turned into a chicken, instead of approachim him like many others were, I tried to fidn the best hiding spot.  Why?  Well... because I was wearing a Michael Jackson shirt.  And y'know since Al had recorded "Eat It" I figured he must really hate that guy.  Hey! Cut me a break. This is how a 9 year old's brain works! At least that's how my brain worked at that age. *sigh*

I have seen Al perform LIVE a few more times since that August 1984 show.  May 1994, September 2007 and August 2008.  Fantastic shows all.  One thing that struck me funny at one of the more recent shows was the realization of  the wide age spectrum of AL-coholics.  Kids and adults from the ages of 8 to 88.  I saw a 50-something couple dressed up in full AMISH gear. 

Tuesday, June 21st 2011, sees the release of Al's 13th studio album: ALPOCALYPSE.  The four horsemen of the ALPOCALYPSE must be: Parody, Pop Culture, Platinum (as in records -- he's earned 6 of 'em!), and of course -- Polka. 

Much like his 2007 release "Straight Outta Lynwood",  ALPOCALYPSE includes a DVD on the flip side featuring videos for (most of) the album's tunes.

Unlike "Lynwood", the new CD features 5 songs that were previously released in late 2008 and the Summer of 2009 while Al tested out the benefits of digital distribution. 

ALPOCALYPSE is currently available for sneak preview on the music website: mog.com.  Of which I currently have a 14 day trial, so I thought I'd do an early review of each of the albums tracks. 

1. PERFORM THIS WAY (Parody of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way")  Even the most casual Al fan is probably aware of this song, due to the recent press coverage.  I really hope that Gaga's telling the truth on this one, and that her "people" were the reason for all the confusion.  What can I say? I've kinda got a crush.




Heh. I kind of have a thing for gals with intriguing noses.

 Many people seem to think Gaga's "Born" is about BEING GAY.  These people are WRONG. Plain and simple.  "Born this Way" is about feeling like an outcast, and simply just knowing that you're weird.   Something I think we can all identify with... especially if you're a fan of this blog.  Al's parody is a tribute to Gaga's bizarre ways, from weirdo to another.  I can't wait to see the video he's got planned.  SONG GRADE: A


2. CNR This is what most Al fans refer to as one of his "style parodies", meaning that while it's not a direct parody of a single song, it's done in the style of a certain artist.  "CNR" is an "Internet Leaks" era White Stripes inspired anthem about the many legends of... Charles Nelson Riley?!  "He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds every day"!  It sounds like CNR could give Chuck Norris a run for his money.  SONG GRADE: B-

3. TMZ (Parody of Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me") A country tinged ode to those who are famous for absolutely no reason: Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Snookie, Jay Leno, etc.  Of course it takes quite a few jabs at the "news source" known as TMZ.   My favorite part comes during the breakdown and we get to hear a bunch of sound bytes from infotainment-esque announcers, particularly when one exclaims: "Everything celebrities do is FASCINATING!"  SONG GRADE: A-

4. SKIPPER DAN Another track released back in 2009.  The tale of a starry-eyed sucker with a fine arts degree who is forced to work at a theme park while dreaming bigger, much, much BIGGER.  I'll admit this is not one of my favorite Weird Al songs.  SONG GRADE: C

5. POLKA FACE  This is one of Al's infamous accordian infused,  polka-ized mashups of several current-ish songs, with an emphasis on Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".




Did someone say MORE Gaga?

 This seems like a track that could have benefited from digital distribution as most of the songs included in the medley are at least TWO years old if not older.  Poker Face (2008), Womanizer (2008), I Kissed A Girl (2008), Fireflies (2009), Tik Tok (2009) and several others.

In the past Al's polka medleys have dealt with not-so-new material.  His first polka - 1984's POLKA'S ON 45 featured many classic songs from the Beatles to Hendrix, The Who, The Doors and the Rolling Stones, speaking of which...  1989's HOT ROCKS POLKA was composed entirely of songs my Mick Jagger and the boys.  And 1993's BOHEMIAN POLKA was of course, a polka-fied version of QUEEN'S "Bohemian Rhapsody".

However for the most part these medleys usually seem a little more recent.  Many of the artists included in POLKA FACE have already released NEW albums since the songs Al revamped here.  But I am glad he went for the oh, so obvious POLKA FACE title.  Something I wished for in a facebook status, back in 2009.   SONG GRADE: B

6. CRAIGSLIST This Doors style paordy is another of 2009's "Internet Leaks".  It kind of covers the same territory as Al's 2003 Backstreet Boys parody "eBay".  A song about all the obscure, inane items and services people offer through various online flea markets.  However we do get keyboard work from original Doors' member Ray Manzarek.  SONG GRADE: B-

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2.
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